Fuck you hands. I want a refund.
I have the shaky hands too. I can’t draw straight lines to save my life! My sketches are all messy lines and quick strokes, and I can’t get the hang of smooth lines. I just.. can’t. In RL tasks I have calm, steady hands like no other. When I’m drawing it is like they go into permanent tremors.
Also, when this came up on my dash I laughed like a fool because this is what happened: LOL.
Sprinting out of the fields, carrying a meaty axe, comethNae! And she gives a booming scream:
“You in some shit now, muhfuh! I come like a storm and lay waste like a hurricane!”
Running over the wasteland, wielding a mighty sword, cometh NaeSpark! And she gives a vengeful scream:
“I’m going to hump you until you can no longer smell pretty things!!!”
Skulking on the terrain, attacking with buzzsaw hand extensions, cometh Naraya Firaga! And she gives a gutteral grunt:
“I’m going to brutalize you until armored tanks pull us apart!!!”
Running on the freeway, carrying a sharpened screwdriver, cometh Airinn! And she gives a gutteral grunt:
“I’m going to smash you until you are no longer smashable!”
Hark! Who is that, running on the hotel lobby! It is Stromphe, hands clutching a burning branch! And with a vengeful bellow, his voice cometh:
“I’m going to pummel you into the fourth dimension!!”
Rampaging on the tundra, swinging two hardened pitas, cometh Dread! And she gives an ominous roar:
“As sure as predators devour prey, I bring darkness and mayhem like a sentient bulldozer!”
Who is that, striding amidst the cliffs! It is Sannam, hands clutching a vorpal blade! She roars apocalyptically:
“I’m going to spank you until you are hot and bothered!!”
Yea, verily: Who is that, prowling out of the tundra! It is Goddessofcheese, hands clutching a jeweled meat hammer! She roars vengefully:
“In the name of malice, I shall fill the world with the stench of death!!!”
Yea, verily: Who is that, running over the steppes! It isStealyourhiny, hands clutching a burning branch! And with a low scream, her voice cometh:
“For the love of beatings, I shall fill the world with the stench of death!!!”
In the name of BEATINGS? wtf.
You have a burning branch?
Prowling along the freeway, swinging a vorpal blade, cometh Rsek! And she gives a spectacular howl:
“I’m seriously going to contort you until you’re pissing shit!!!”
Running out of the plains, swinging a meaty axe, cometh Freckles04! And she gives a spectacular grunt:
“I’m going to hump you beyond your expiration date, then bake cookies!!”
Apparently I’m a Qunari?
Doing this again, the right way:
Zang! Who is that, striding out of the steppes! It isBarbeauxbot, hands clutching a jeweled meat hammer! And with an ominous bellow, her voice cometh:
“By Odin’s mighty spear, skulls will be fucked for Satan!!”
Rampaging through the mini-mall parking lot, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a meaty axe, cometh Quality_rachni! And she gives an ominous grunt:
“I’m going to fuck you into the fast lane!!”
Ohhh…I like that one. I do.
Yea, verily: Who is that, striding out of the cliffs! It is Historymiss, hands clutching gilded boxing gloves! She screams vengefully:
“I’m going to pummel you into the fast lane, and add a notch to my bedpost!!!”
That made no sense whatsoever. AWESOME.
What Is Your Battle Cry?
Running amidst the hotel lobby, clutching a piece of chainlink fence, cometh Evilsherbear! And she gives a spectacular bellow:
“I’m going to contort you until your anus and mouth reverse their functions!”
Hark! Who is that, stalking amidst the wasteland! It is Phoenike, hands clutching a meaty axe! She grunts mightily:
“I’m going to flog you like it’s my job, and plug you into a power plant!!!”
OH, Maker… mine is so HORRIBLE.. but I died laughing….
Zang! Who is that, stalking out of the tarmac! It is Arquen, hands clutching a reflective halberd! And with a vengeful roar, her voice cometh:
“I’m going to fuck you so heinously, you will see ultraviolet!!”
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING???
I do not get mod’ing companions beyond like putting Nathaniel in the Warden armor or Zevran in sexy leather. Play dress up dolls with your mods, but this??? Anders with cornrows?
Buh I say. Buh.
Cornrows Anders is killing me right now. At least Isabela isn’t white??
Though, to be fair, I do understand the modding of Hawke’s family in order to make them look more like your character. Not that these versions are particularly appealing, but if the game itself varies their appearance based on your character then I think it’s fine to do it yourself.
But a resounding WTF at these hideous mods in general.
Dalish Tattoos On Humans
may the Dread Wolf take you
Oh, modding. *secretly thanks the Maker there is no Fenris example in this*
LOL at your drawings Rei, so true… so true…
I will never understand modding characters to make them look like completely different people. Yet I’ve heard all the arguments — for fun, for variety, to keep the game “fresh.” Still, the developers made these characters a certain way. To change their appearance completely is to make them into something else. Something they are not. They become different people entirely. I am forced to be like “who are you and why are you saying Anders’ dialogue? GTFO!”
I don’t understand people…
I REGRET NOTHING!!! Did this for the Dragon Age Love group on DA — Mini challenge. All you people that call yourselves Artists.. OMG try this. I died laughing. I just.. what is this I don’t even. I’m so sorry world! I’m so sorry Fenris! The contest is HERE and the blank meme is HERE DOoooOoo eeeettt.. FOR THE LULZ!
So I wrote this poem like 10 years ago and found it in my documents. I then laughed myself silly because I’m obsessed with Dragon Age and I thought “What the hell.. this fits perfectly!” 10 years ago… coincidence, no? By the way I spent a bajillion years editing this and Tumblr does not make formatting EASY!
If I stop to mourn the soul
That everyday pass
It will swallow me whole
Trapped in the mass
The undercurrent is strong
And threatens to pull me under
The heart weeps; how long
In kindness do we blunder?
Losing ourselves in a thankless creed
Nobody guesses the underlying theme
Good and Evil be the planted seed
A world doomed by some vast scheme
In the dark waters flow the tears
Tossed about: a little a toy
Yet somehow in all those years
Never is one without Joy
Laughter fills the empty heart
The pain fades in the moment
The souls aren’t lost; merely depart
Seems there is nothing to lament
Yet cruelty finds its way to the nerve
That begins again the raging wave
And our little craft takes a swerve
Who goes for the save?
Searching for answers that won’t turn you astray
As we are flung about in this tumult
In a world that is destined to fade away
Salvation or Doom is the end result
Yes this was in my angsty teenage days. Still.. I think it’s pretty good and relevant even so. *snaps*